There's No Place Like Home

Greetings Muleteers!  Ponies are not made for cities.... of this I am sure.  FH has just got back from the hustle and bustle of London, she sneaked a peek at the equestrian stadium for the Olympics in Greenwich and although it sounds magnificent I have decided that I won't attend.   I think the underground and traffic would play havoc with my hair!

The Big City just sounds so busy, lots of people, lots of noise and not much green grass.  I can't imagine what I'd live on? I'm a growing boy you know.  FH enjoyed herself but was very pleased to be home with us muleteers.  She returned to a bit of a mess though.... we have had severe flooding over the weekend, MH was left on emergency duty, ditches were dug, hourly checks made and lots of clean bedding and ample straw arranged so that us muleteers could stay safe and dry.  Wow!  We were so lucky, we had a little bit of rain that blew in through our doorways and an ample amount of mud but the deluge stayed firmly outside, unlike most of our neighbours we were not flooded - phew!  I had been communicating hard with the rain doctor and for once he listened.

FH had only been home a few minutes before she was at the tidy up, it would have been rude to let her do it all by herself so I gave her my best encouragement.  FH likes to have kisses blown in her face whilst she is organising our beds so as she had rather a lot to do I snuffled away.

Today brought welcome relief when we had a little bit of sunshine if only for it to be rudely interrupted by yet more rain... will it ever stop?  FH came home full of news, good and bad.  Some that had made her heart sink and left her in need of snuffle treatment (we obliged of course) and some that is good and bad.  FH was telling us about some poor long ears that had been abandoned in a bog (http://www.thedonkeysanctuary.org.uk/press-release/5827) and one of them had drowned.  Imagine how awful that would be?  If we didn't have nice humans that loved us the same could happen to any of us.... FH wasn't all doom and gloom though.  These special donkeys have been rescued and will now be cared for by the folks at The Donkey Sanctuary, hopefully they will one day find themselves in a lovely home like ours with friends just like mine.

I guess what I was thinking today is that there's no place like home.... especially when you have a roof over your head, grass to nibble, good company and lots to do...... I hope my long eared cousins are enjoying their new home, they deserve it!

Roller's Philosophical Friday: Friends

Dear Muleteers.  What a lovely week we've been having and there is one reason for it all....Friends! 

This week The Mini has been helping FH by listening to her problems, Dragon and I have been renewing our friendship by lots of grooming, FH and Dragon have been riding and The Mini and Catanian have found a new love of each other.  We have all been relying on, developing and enjoying our friends so what better topic for my quote for Friday!

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.  Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.  Just walk beside me and be my friend.
Albert Camus

Muleteers we all walk together wherever we go, sometimes one of us has to take the lead but we're always right there together.  I hope you humans are as lucky as us :-)  Have a lovely weekend, FH is off to see her oldest friend so will be taking my advice onboard!

World's First Mule Riding Cat?

Greetings Muleteers!  There have been some strange occurrences in the herd this week.  The Mini and Diesel have been plotting.... Now Muleteers it is safe to say that until recently The Mini was not the biggest fan of our feline friend and would on the odd occasion try to stamp on her (she's way too fast muleteers don't worry).  However... over the past few weeks they have been getting more friendly with Catanian often deciding to sleep in The Mini's stable with him.  During these sleep overs they have obviously been having a chat about their shared jealousy at the fun rides that FH and I go on.  FH would love to ride The Mini if she could but alas he is too small.

How do you solve a problem like size?  Well you use lateral thinking.... You see our feline friend Catanian is a gymnast and regularly jumps on the humans' backs so it would seem that The Mini had a little chat with her and asked her to be a Mule Rider too!

So last night FH and I went out for a lovely ride and got back ready for some dinner.  We turned our backs and there were the show offs before our eyes.  I can safely say FH nearly fell over at the sight of the funniest pair of friends! 

Catanian leapt on board and posed resplendent demonstrating that The Mini is perfect for sleeping on...

 Playing on...

 Curling up on...

 Posing on......

 Even The Mini seemed pleased with her presence!

Catanian eventually dismounted after about 15 minutes as The Mini had a shake and even she couldn't manage to stay onboard! But The Mini was sorry and wanted his friend back so snuck up to the wall and invited Catanian to climb onboard again..

Which of course Catanian duly did and this time assumed the Mule Riding position!

Muleteers we think you'll agree that our buddies The Mini and Catanian are the perfect match, he has his very own Mule Rider and she looks delighted at her elevated position in life!  FH says that us mules never cease to amaze her..... next it will be Ro-Land's turn!



Stressed? You Need a Mini Mule!

Greetings Muleteers, FH is having one of *those* days where everything is stressful.... can't do right for doing wrong? Can't understand what makes humans tick? Wish you were somewhere else? Wonder why whatever you say it offends someone?  Sound familiar?  Now then muleteers what you need is Dr. Mini to take the blues away!


FH came to see us with droopy (imaginary) ears and a sad expression.  It had been a day where she wondered how things had gone so wrong?  Welcome to the couch (straw bed) of Dr Mini.  Muleteers I have a very important place in the herd, I may not carry my FH on wild adventures or have beautiful hair that blows in the breeze like Roller but I do the most important job.  I use these mulificent ears for the most important task of all, I listen.  FH brings her problems to me and whispers them in to my beautiful ears.

As an experienced practitioner of FH therapy I know just what is required and when.  A starter of plop picking gets FH absorbed in some physical exertion that she can't possibly mess up.  Then it's time for the snuffle treatment.  Depending on the level of the problem I may go in for the treatment on my own....

If the problem is just too big I call in the rest of the gang and we go for a thorough muleteer snuffle attack.  By this stage FHs ears have normally perked up a bit and she is starting to smile if only just a little.

It is then time for the proper Dr Mini treatment where I listen to FHs problems.... they are problems only humans can make but I can see how they upset her.  From my perspective they all add up to the following...

1/. Someone wants the bucket of tasty carrots but rather than asking nicely they wait until the bucket holder's back is turned kick them and run off with the bucket and don't want to share.  Surely next time the bucket holder won't bring the carrots for any of them again so everyone loses out?

2/. One mule is jealous of another mule's mulificent ears and can't understand why they can't have the same mulificent ears so spend their entire lives telling any passing mule that will listen how horrible said mule is and how his ears are rubbish...

3/. Mule number one tries to help mule number two in distress, he wants nothing other than to make his buddy happy.  In the process both mules knock over the bucket of carrots accidentally and get beaten for a genuine mistake.... no one has carrots and no one is happy?

4/. Mule number one doesn't understand that mule number two's favourite thing is carrots so takes every opportunity to tell everyone that carrots are terrible and are the work of the devil, he doesn't understand that some mule's like carrots and some like apples?  Not everyone is the same?

Muleteers I could go on and on but you get the idea.....

After a while of staring in to my very beautiful eyes and whispering that I'm the best Dr in the house (don't tell MH, hehehe) FH cheers up.  I take up my reversing position and sit in her lap or rest my head on her shoulder.  This is FHs favourite thing although she does complain pathetically about her trousers or sweater getting dirty (futile!).  I assume the position and present my tail or ears for scratching, how can FH be sad when she has me as her best buddy?  It's all about perspective muleteers, only some things in life are actually the important ones.

Dr Mini's Important Things

Doing the RIGHT thing, not the 'right' thing

Doing what you love and loving what you do

Looking after those that need it

Being tolerant of those that are different (not everyone has mulificent ears ;-)

Go to bed at night knowing that you stuck by your moral values

Ask for forgiveness, not permission when you really need to do the right thing

Well muleteers Dr Mini has had a busy day on the couch so I'm off for some eating therapy myself.  You humans really are a strange bunch, at least I have a 'purpose' in life, who says you need drugs or a doctorate to make folks feel better, it's all in the ears :-)

10 Essential Qualities for Every Mule Rider

Greetings Muleteers!  Sense of Humour, The Right Equipment, Agility and Good Looks (ok maybe not this one...), sounds like a dating website?  No, just the right combination of qualities for a mule rider.  FH and I have been out and about this morning and had plenty of time to ponder the important things in life. So here is my top ten of qualities every mule rider should possess.

Sense of Humour

Every mule rider needs a sense of humour.  There are only so many comments you can hear about your 'cute ass', it's a good job FH and I are full of self confidence and smile in the face of such uninformed comments!  FH also needs a sense of humour for when I cover her in mud as I did this morning by stomping in a muddy puddle (her trousers looked far too clean having only been on for an hour... I prefer her muddy like me!) hehehe :-)

Patience

Us mules do not like impatient humans, we will do everything in our own sweet time, thank you very much.  Try to make us do things without consideration and we will swiftly put you right.  Give us time to think about things and spell out what you want us to do and we'll be right there with you.  FH and I have been working on our language and things are going well.  With patience on both sides we are realising that there is no need for leg squeezing to go faster, all FH has to do now is blow me a kiss and I know this means trot.  I'm so proud of us, my ears are nearly touching in the middle!  Mules may want a little longer to decide the best way to proceed but when we get something it really sticks, you humans just need to be patient!

A Love of Hedge Picnics

This is essential! Hedge picnics are one of the pleasures of life and a ride is a good excuse to sample exotic treats.  FH and I have come to an arrangement.  She thinks she is training me..... she doesn't let me hedge picnic just anywhere but picks a tasty looking stretch of hedge and then asks me to 'halt' and then turns me towards the tasty morsels.  She thinks this is helping with my brakes and steering by making it a good thing for me to learn with plenty of positive reinforcement.  I of course know what she's up to but that's fine.  We also have a second arrangement, I leave picnicking when told to immediately, FH blows me kisses and tells me to walk on and I go, this way I don't 'dirty my ticket' as GH would say and spoil my picnicking chances for next time.  This arrangement works well, FH gets to look at the view and thinks she's training me and I get to sample the hedgerow delights.  

One last word muleteers, hedge picnics can come from all sides, up high the tree branches are tasty, the grass down below is nice and the hedges to side are fair game too, 3-dimensional picnics are perfect!

Agility

Hold on muleteers!  If there's a track I'll find it so you better be up to the job.  I expect my mule rider to be able to get on quickly and from the ground and not to slam on to my saddle like a lead weight.  I also expect my mule rider to balance nicely and not make life difficult.  I do not want to carry a sack of potatoes thank you. FH and I are good sizes for each other, FH is so pleased that she has a petite muletta like me that she can hop on and off, life is so much easier when you're riding a correctly proportioned animal and not something that is way too big.  FH is just right, her legs fit well and she is pretty light (although if she keeps stuffing her face with food like she does we're not so sure.... we'll just have to make more mess for her to clean up to keep her fit!!).

Good Sense of Direction

Please mule riders have a clear idea of where you want to go.  Your part of the bargain is to let me know where we're off to, I do not do endless circles or pointless exercises.  I need a purpose and a direction so find me a circuit not a there and back and don't ever tell me to do a '20 metre circle' what's the fun in that???  

My part of the bargain is to know where my feet need to be, don't tell me how to do my job, I do not need to know that my feet are on the edge of a ledge or that there is something slippy ahead.  Give me my head and I'll see, they are my feet after all?

The Right Equipment

Mule riders will all know about the right equipment.  Mules need different equipment as we are superior in build ;-) Find a saddle and rigging that stays in place and then stop tinkering and ride.  If it stays put at all paces then stop fussing.  Make it comfy and practical.  Tie me up with gadgets at your peril.  Tack is there for communication and safety not so that one half of the partnership can dominate the other.... I weigh close to half a ton and if excessive lengths of leather and bits of metal make you feel more in control then there's something wrong?

Just Do It!

If we need to move let's move.  I do not like plodding along.  If we are going somewhere let's have purpose to our journey.  Don't get me wrong I love to stop and chat but once I'm in the 'zone' this mule does not like to go slowly.  Mule riders please let me go, don't keep trying to 'half halt' me, I'm meant to go this fast.  As long as I stop and turn when you tell me to what's the problem?

Do Not Get Complacent

Occasionally us mules will throw you a curve ball just to keep you on your toes.  Washing line reins, too much chat or a lack of thought will all bring out the devil in us.....;-)  We can turn on a dime like a well trained Quarter Horse, speed like the best Thoroughbred and snort like an Arabian Stallion; however, we're pretty sensible underneath it all and will almost immediately turn back in to your beloved mule.... just thought we'd wake you up a little!

Bravery

If you come along for the ride please be brave.  We know that you feel safer in the school with a nice soft landing but if you're brave and you trust us we promise to be good.  Sometimes mule riders you need to do a little bit of what scares you to realise that it's fun!  We mules are very brave and will never cease to amaze you with our 'am I bothered?' attitude.  Now stop holding on tightly, breathe, let those legs dangle, enjoy the view, stop worrying about what just happened, what might happen or what will almost certainly never happen and ENJOY THE RIDE :-)

Partnership

This is the most important one Muleteers.  Being a Mule Rider is about being a partner.  We both have equal parts to play and should both enjoy the experience.  Your mule buddy should be as happy to go out with you as he is to go home.  Treat your mule like your best friend not your possession, it's so much more fun when you ride 'with' your mule than when you're just a passenger. 

Always time for hedge picnics, even when on mule model duty.

The old saying "You tell a horse, ask a donkey and negotiate with a mule" is surely right but we think you should negotiate with all four legs, treat them like your best pal and you won't go far wrong!

Well muleteers I hope you enjoyed my ponderings.  You humans are a mystery that I am still figuring out.  FH and I are definitely getting the partnership thing and my mule moments are becoming figments of her imagination (more carrots for me!!) and I am teaching her new things every day, we'll get her ticking off all the boxes in no time at all.

Birthday Balloons!

Greetings Muleteers! Roller-Polar here today!  How much fun can you have with a birthday balloon muleteers?  The answer - lots!  It has been FH's birthday today, she has been trying to keep it quiet as she says that it means more grey hairs.... We bought her splendid presents, mostly for our benefit.... a lovely waterproof coat to ensure that she can attend to our needs whatever the weather and Callie spent her hard earned mule money on some new riding boots so that FH looks smart enough to go out with her highness! We were ably assisted by MH who had to actually go to the shops for us... apparently four legs aren't welcome in store, how rude.

Imagine our delight when FH also showed us the presents from the extended family!  FH received food (mmmm share), some human type things and the most adorable porcelain version of me (this one can fit on the shelf muleteers so FH can keep me close at all times!)  Granny Human (GH) also bought her a balloon!  Now muleteers we haven't come across one of these before but FH very generously shared it with us.  I was not really sure what to make of it, I thought I'd give it a taste but I couldn't recommend it....

Then her highness herself investigated, she seemed a little non-plussed by this floating vision and thought that it would make a good object to hide behind.... or perhaps a lollipop to lick?

The Mini was a little more dubious and eyed the balloon with much suspicion.... it must be an alien from outer space?

Finally we left the balloon discovery to the brave one of the gang, the intrepid explorer who always thinks everything is there to be caught... so Catanian put on her bravest cat paws and proceeded to stalk and kill that balloon, FH promptly put the balloon away before Catanian got too carried away.

Finally The Mini looked very smugly at the rest of us, we all know what he's thinking.... no birthday present will ever surpass that which GH bought for FH three years ago for her birthday..... the best present ever that will never ever be beaten no matter how hard anyone tries.....

Yes Muleteers GH bought FH the pony that she'd always wished for, we are sure GH must have missed the very obvious mistake.... the ears are a little on the long side.  Anyway it all worked out well in the end :-)

Have Mule, Will Travel!

Greeting Muleteers!  FH and I have just got back from a mule adventure.  Tractors, lorries, motorbikes, cows, mud and miles of fun were all in a day's ride for this mule :-)

Female human (FH) and I are really getting the hang of this riding thing and we are now making the most of going out and about.  Today we were on our own which makes no difference to me, I like going out with My Heroine and FH loves chatting to her owner but I'm equally chilled about going out on my own. No hysterics about leaving my boyfriends, they'll still be there when I get home!

So we saddled up which is getting more fun by the minute.  I used to be a little grumpy about having saddles and cinches (girths) on and FH had to be careful not to get a hoof in the face as I protested by showing what I thought to these straps.  Well FH checked everything fitted properly and when I came to own her found me a lovely comfy cowmule saddle, brand new soft wool girths and most recently I have a saddle pad made of memory foam - heaven!! FH has then been spending HOURS with me doing everything gently and making saddling and cinching fun, when I'm good I get scratches and treats and when I'm not so good she sighs and we start again, as you can guess muleteers I soon cottoned on.  FH is so happy with me now as she doesn't have to reach under me with a stick to grab the cinches, she trusts me enough to put her arm and head down there - as she should, I'm a good muletta now ;-)

Off we went, first up was a steep climb to a track, I had to stop on many occasions to wave my ears at my fan club, it's growing by the day, I even met a man on a mulificent motorbike who was very polite and let me admire his beast, the handlebars looked remarkably like ears!   Then on the very steepest part of the hill we met a car that wanted to pass us, we couldn't pull over so the car had to wait behind us for quite a while, FH thought the driver looked angry as he was gesturing for us to stop and looking a little animated - yikes....  But no, he wanted to stop and gaze at my mulificence!  It is impossible to be angry when faced with such beauty as mine.  FH is thinking of getting a sweater printed with the words 'Yes She's a Mule', this would answer the question that we know is coming when cars slow down or folks just wander out of their houses, we don't mind though, any excuse for a chat!  For our fans elsewhere it's worth pointing out that mules in the UK are VERY uncommon and most people have never seen one let alone one being ridden, particularly in a western saddle, FH and I are getting used to the weird looks!

Did you say something FH?

Then to the off road part, my favourite.  This is a track that is a bridleway but no horses ever use it, apparently it is too stoney, too muddy, too steep and often has pigs next door?  Well this is perfect for this muletta.  We had a lovely ride up the hill and then met a nice jogger who wanted to know all about me but was very worried about my welfare.  FH could not possibly take me in to the woods, they were muddy and hard to get through, then the answer that I was hoping for, "it'll be fine, she's a mule".  So off we set, it was indeed muddy and I had to take some detours to avoid the worst but that was fine.  FH even got involved with the mud as she had to open an impossible gate.  While she wasn't looking.... I just took the opportunity to have a little snack.  Us mules do not just spy food on the floor but up high too, I pulled this lovely branch down for an impromptu picnic, aren't I clever?

Onwards muleteers... the final stretch home was nice and relaxed.  We met a poor man driving a massive truck with a big tank on the back, he looked horrified when he saw me and looked like he was going to panic.  FH and I used sign language and of course I stood rock still like a good muletta while he squeezed past, he looked mightily relieved, what did he think I was going to do? Eat his truck? 

We had some nice pottering along on the lanes, a quick ride-by to wave my ears at my friends Breeze and Chance and then some trots, snacks, walks and a good old chat with FH.  She was telling me how fantastic I am (I already know this!), she would never go back to a short ear ever again.  Her last short ear was a sandwich short of a picnic by the sounds of it!  She was telling me that he was scared of trucks, tractors, bikes, bridges, running water, plastic bags.... well everything really.... and in the process of running away from this whole host of non-scarey items he ditched FH many times, unfortunately with broken ankles, ribs and fingers as a reward for FHs trouble.  Well muleteers how ridiculous, I can't understand why FH had a four legs like that, at least now she has learnt that Mules Rule ;-) I'll keep her safe, us mules have self preservation and that includes our precious cargo!