Mule V's Chainsaw.....

So I heard that my family fans were coming over to visit me.... of course they are!  How could they fail to want to visit and pet your mulificence Queen Dragon?  Hmmm..... or so I thought!  My Uncle and Auntie brought GH to see us all, GH has been a little careless and broken some bones in her front fetlock, not a good idea GH.   Perhaps mud will stick them back together, if not shall we try baling twine?  These are the quick fixes for everything.... let us know if the human docs don't sort it out and we'll get the baling twine ready :-)  

So there I was thinking they had all come to see me when all of a sudden it appeared that they had actually come to play with the wood pile that I had so effortlessly created last weekend with my mule power.... now they had come to destroy my wood pile.  

Ermm hello boys why are you not paying us mules any attention, we're right here and hungry for carrots!

That's when I noticed what they were up to, they had this monstrous log eating thing called a chainsaw, I've heard about boys and their toys but really?!  I decided to get a closer look and swish fiercely at the monster in the hope that it would go away so that I can once again get all the attention.

Even Roller's cuteness couldn't manage to tempt the boys over.... there is something seriously wrong here.... how can they like chainsaws over mules?  Weird!

After what seemed like forever of the monstrous noise (and they call us noisy?) the boys finally finished playing but then they moved on to the next 'task'

Yes that's right burning things!  It seems even GH and Auntie have been lured in to the bonfire fun..... no sign of FH, oh yeah that's cos she was busy petting us, at least someone appreciates us!  Hmmm the fire was rather sedate.... seems they needed a Dragon to blow on it.... well if you're going to ignore me I shall let your flames splutter out...... harumph!

Alas failure to light much more than a small ember sent the humans dashing for the gate.... haha!

Not so fast Uncle!  There is a price to exit this gate!  A stroke of the nose and the finest carroty morsel you can find is the price to pay the Dragon mule gatekeeper....

And GH where do you think you're going?  Wouldn't you like me to try the baling twine and mud fix it trick on your broken fetlock?  If that doesn't work there's always salt water, sudocrem and Roller snuffles?

Come on folks how about a little attention here.....

What's a girl gotta do?  PULL FACES???

At last that seemed to get their attention! Nice to see you family, next time don't forget the carrots, scratches behind the ears and that every moment of your attention should be focused on us..... we know you come to see us not the humans ;-)  

Mule Agility

Greetings Muleteers!  Well what fun I had this weekend.  I knew something was up when a mule mobile arrived and I was shown inside.  Yes, yes, been there, seen that, done that, where are we going, when are we going?  Well the humans kept me waiting for another day..... sigh!

Eventually after much faffing around on their part we were ready for the off.  I entered my mule mobile straight away, the flight mule attendant brought my in transit snack of a carrot and off we set.

Gosh MH you do drive like an old lady.... actually that's fine as it means I can balance easy and eat my hay, this is great, if I travel I gets hay not straw - yippee!

Here we are.... woohoo, have you seen all that grass, my goodness me, I have come for a Dragon sized picnic.

 

Well it seems that FH had other ideas.... she appears to think that we are here for a training day?  Apparently she thinks she is training me to do Horse Mule Agility with a group of other equnes and their humans, I think I am training her to do Mule Human Agility.  Whatever, I'm sure we'll figure out who's in charge.

 

 

After lots of showing off to my new fans (they was amazed at my mulificent, good looks and willingness to show my human up ;-) it was time to tackle some obstacles.

 

First up was the curtain thingy, I went through no problems, I was so quick the photo does not show my prowess... Here I am mostly concerned with the grass not the curtain, looks tasty!

 

 

Next up was the hoopy thing, yep I went through and over that quick too and the camera thing didn't catch me..... errmmm FH look at the grass..... come to think of it there is a theme here in these pics??

 

Then off to 'Scarey Corner', why is this scarey?  That's right FH you lead the way and I'll follow like a good muletta should, someone has even left me a helpful sign for directions :-)

 

 

Me and FH is rebels though and decided to go the wrong way round this one way system, just in case you didn't get my best side on camera!

 

 

Then on to some other obstacles, first I had to walk across a wooden bridge and through some barrels and over a tarpaulin, I was so speedy the camera didn't catch me, needless to say I was teaching FH some real agility tricks, in between there was a bit of grass munching - yum!  It was even better because our trainer insisted that me eating grass was good as it kept my brain happy.  I like this trainer she gets my need for feed!

 

Next up is the podium, I think this should be renamed Mule Mound.  I gots my little, itty, bitty muley hooves up there as quick as I could, no place I'd rather be than up high!  FH was well pleased with me. 

 

 

In the spirit of fairness I wanted to give my back hooves a chance too, but then the urge to eat got too much..... it's ok though mules can multi task!

 

 

Then there was some of that ground worky stuff where I had to go backwards, bend round poles and trot next to FH (she's slow but I tried my best not to overtake, it would not have been sporting).

 

 

The human was definitely getting better with this agility thing, we'll have her jumping through hoops in no time.

 

Just one last thing FH, how about the grass eating obstacle?  Can we tackle that now?  If I can just get my head down another couple inches I'll complete that task.

 

It was time to go way too quickly but alas I had eaten enough grass to brag to the minis about, had taught FH some moves, had conquered every obstacle put in front of me and made loads of new equine and human friends - not bad for a day's fun.

So when are we coming again FH?? That was quite fun, although I'm ready for a snooze now!


 

Mule Power: Learning to Log

Mule Power!

If you wanna job doing right.... you gotta get a mule to do it!  

I have been enthusiastically watching MH this week chopping down some old branches and trees that have gotten a little out of control. I neighbrayed and encouraged him especially when he reached my favourite tree, the ash (yummy).    I was delighted when I saw this huge pile of branches all with green leaves and shiny bark, just ready for the tasting.

MH was a bit slow at dragging the bits up to the paddock though.... it involved a hike up the road which has an incline and he said he was too tired to bring me the spoils of his tree surgery....  

Hey MH!  No worries I said. I'm a mule and I like nothing better than to work.  I'll drag those branches up to the paddock for some tasty dining.  

OK so I know I've never pulled anything before and it takes a lot of practice to make equines happy to pull stuff safely.... but then this is me.....  

Oh and yes we haven't got the right kit.... that's what you think!  Remember that old military mule collar with chains attached that FH has from the war? That'll do the job.  Just think the last time it was used it might have been one of my long eared friends pulling a gun, at least this is a better use for it.  

Yeah yeah so ok we need to practice a bit with the swingle tree and you need to make sure I'm not gonna run away and think I'm getting chased, ok so we should be using blinkers as those things 'trick' me in to thinking there's nothing behind me.... but really?  I am a mule you know... and not just any mule.... I am super mule Dragon who is scared of nothing and reporting for duty to drag those logs.

So we'll practice a little first (give me 15 minutes and I've got the idea) .... come on MH get those arms working... I can drag you and the log up the lane if you like?  This is a piece of cake!  FH is at my head, we're just doing this off my halter, she's dressed me up with my bit and bridle so I know I'm 'working' but is leading me from the rope, I'm such a calm muletta aren't I?

Come on MH, let's get some logs attached and drag those branches up here ready for dinner time.  Do you think I look the part as a logging mule?  I know I'm not one of those big draft mules but I can move branches that are hard work for you.  I know some of my human followers won't believe this but I really do love this stuff.  If I have a job I am so very happy, you see us mules love to be useful and I get soooo much praise when I work that my ears nearly touch in the middle with pride.  

That's more like it!  Let's drag this up the lane.  It's nice to be able to play with MH for a change.  He is very keen on this logging thing and reckons that he and I can have lots of fun doing this, he is also wondering if I might provide some mule power for him on wheels?  Who needs horse power of the wheeled variety when you got mule power? He looks pretty pleased with me, I could get used to this adulation!

Logging mule extraordinaire!

There is only one limitation to this logging thing.... your human's have gotta work too and well... they're not as quick as us mules so there is some waiting around to be done, oh well guess we're not all mules.... I put on my most patient ears while MH messed around with ropes and chains.  FH says I was the most patient muletta ever, she reckons I know when I'm 'working' - of course I do!  I'm a mule!

Well that was soooo much fun, I'm excited as there is talk of more logging and more dragging and maybe a new harness.... and more mule powered fun!  Yippeee I love this work thing....

Especially when I reap the rewards - ash tree for dinner!

Can't wait for my next mule powered adventure!  A happy mule is a mule with a purpose!

Recycling - Mule Style!

Household chores are best done with mule power!

FH there is loads of trash on the floor!  Those plastic bottles need crushing and recycling.  What do you mean we gotta crush these things for the bottle bank?  Can't you humans manage to do anything without our help?  Us equines are not here to tidy up after you lot!

All of this stuff really needs sorting out.....

OK, fetch my halter FH and I'll come help you with your trash, you humans make far too much mess you know.

Hmmm I am now suspicious... this looks a lot like one of those Horse Human Agility obstacles to me?  Do you need my help again with the Human Agility? Really, those bottles are not scarey to stand on... you humans are so easily scared.

So first you need to eye up the problem...

Then you put your best foot forward, this 'Bottle Bank' obstacle is easy peasy!

It's important to crush these bottles good and proper!  The less space they take up the better.  I know they make some popping sounds but honestly FH they're fine, they won't bite you.

Best way to do it is plunge in and get all your hooves in there

Is that good enough for you?

What do you mean we need more crushing?  In that case we need to bring in the heavyweight.... errrm  Roller!  We need your little feet for a task.  

Here I am! Mmmmm do you know what Dragon?  Some of these bottles have had apple juice in them, yummy, can I eat them please?  

Crush them?  Oh if I must.... This is kinda fun actually...

Errrm what am I doing again?  I seem to have fallen asleep a little bit....

Oh yeah, squashing for recycling, my tiny hooves are great for the job!

I like this recycling agility thing, it's so much fun!  There is only one thing better than recycling fun....

Striking a pose for the ladies!

Recycling all done, human trained for agility just that little bit more... she's coming along nicely!  Must be time for some sunbathing and a snooze now?

Curtain Call

Dearest Muleteers, I have FH in training for Human Agility.  We are due to attend some fun agility days later this summer and I've decided she needs some practice so that it's not all a big shock for her.  I summoned MH and instructed him to build me a curtain obstacle.  "Trot on MH" I said, build it big and strong and with lots of flappy curtain bits, no stinting, if I want it, I want it to be proper!

My curtain was duly construtcted (well done MH I send you neighbrays of thanks) and I decided upon a windy evening for its first outing.  Every Actress has a few butterflies before her 'Curtain Call' but not me.  Look at FH's face though, she looks confused, "who me? walk through this curtain, I do not think so Dragon"  I am a true Leading Lady and am relaxed and have no such thing as nerves.  This curtain thing? Seen it all before.... a challenging, spooky obstacle for Her Royal Highness Queen Mule? I laugh in the face of spooking!

It seems to be blowing around a lot, I'm sure it's safe FH, I think you should go first though, you could also pass me a piece of carrot. Every Leading Lady needs to be well fed and doted upon to perform at her best.

Well of course the Supporting Actress should go through the curtain first, I am not heading in to the spotlights until there's a round of applause, if there are to be rotten tomatoes thrown you can go on stage first.  What do you mean I will miss the first scene if I don't get a move on?  

Here I come!  Oh yes fans more applause for your Leading Lady.  My Curtain Call is here, stepping on to the stage of Mule Glory.  This curtain thing is a breeze, is this supposed to be difficult FH?  

Every Leading Lady must have a Leading Man..... I think The Mini might get stage fright.... I know just the Actor for the role!  Hey Roller, fancy acting?  You gotta come through the Curtain though.......

Curtain?  I admire the nice colours but it might clash with my hair... FH says it's nearly my scene though.... I am to play a handsome Hero who saves his Heroine from the evil Mule Doctor!

OK here I come, gosh it's windy in this outdoor theatre! DumdeDum, here I come ladies! Errmm I think I've forgotten my lines, good job I have the fine looks, I'm sure that works in Hollywood?!

Oh no I think I might get stuck in the Curtain...

Do these streaks look good in my hair?  I think some highlights might be nice?  

Oops Roller.... there is one very important rule of being a Leading Man..... you must never upstage the Leading Lady..... especially one as highly strung as a Dragon!

To Ride a Good Mule.....

To ride a good mule is to never look back!

...... is to discover a new friend and a new way of riding.

Many of my short eared friends seem amazed when they meet me carrying my human around the lanes and the moors.  At first I thought they were blown away by my good looks and superior ears but then I realised they didn't think us mules were up to the job of being ridden!

Mules in the UK are few and far between and most of them are too small to ride, us long ears also seem to have a bad reputation for being unpleasant to ride.... very unfair.

I like nothing more than to work and to go out and about with my human.  Some of my friends find this hard to imagine?  A mule that likes to work?  Surely not?  But honestly when we go out for a ride I will go just as fast going out as coming home (how many horses do you know do that?) and when it comes time to turn up the lane to home (where The Mini is neighbraying his best at me) I want to carry on and go around again.

I have had to teach my human some mule riding tricks though..... when you ride a mule you do not 'command' it, you do not 'tell' it, if you do this you'll find out why many folks think we're bad to ride.... they just didn't listen when we tried teaching them!

When we go out me and FH work together, we listen to each other and if I have something to say it's taken note of, this does not mean that my human is allowed to sit like a sack of potatoes or is allowed to be sticky at the yard gate!

I demand certain things from my rider:

• Clear signals, tell me where we're going and then let's get there

• Too Cool for School - I don't do 'schooling'..... I am amazed at my short eared friends, their ability to enjoy 20 metre circles baffles me, I would much prefer to leap some rocks and teeter on a steep ledge thanks, this teaches me to be supple and agile, just in a different way!

• Coming Through - don't dilly dally, let's move on.  I like going out with my short ear friends and am always happy to take the lead when they let me.  I think they're happy that my superior dog defenders and attack mule credentials will keep them safe from harm.  It must look quite funny with a petite pony mule leading her big short eared friends....

• Fun, fun, fun!  Humans take themselves way too seriously sometimes, especially some 'horsey' types.  I think there should be a new term 'muley' types, folks with a smile on their face, a sense of humour and a sunny disposition.  What better way to make yourself smile than with the tuneful neighbray of a mule in your life?

What do I offer my rider in return?

• Beauty! Have you seen how mulificent I am?  To ride a mule is to ride a supermodel.... my superior ears and mulificent brown eyes are sure to appeal to all :-)

• Sure footedness - us mules have inherited our donkey Dad's little feet that fit in to all sorts of tiny gaps, if there's a safe way through we'll find it.  We also don't need shoes so no slippy sliding on the road

• Fearlessness - to ride a mule is to ride a warrior(ess).  We mules look after our cargo, mess with us and you'll know it.  I am adept at dealing with rude dogs and other such annoyances.  I will spin on the spot (slowly enough to keep FH in the saddle mind) to keep them in my gaze and if they get very bad I'll put them in their place.... gently to start with, of course!

• Willingness - this is my human's favourite thing.  To ride an equine that wants to work, that wants to be with you and has a shared enjoyment is surely what all riders wish for?  I am with her and she with me.  I will happily tell FH when I'm not happy, this may sound like a problem but in her eyes it's the greatest gift as she knows what I'm really thinking.

A Willing Partner

• Smoothness - us mules are smoother to ride and FH always comments on how nice I am to sit to, she glides along... after riding a horse designed as a flashy cart horse for many years she wishes she'd found me sooner!

• Fun - to ride a mule is to smile, to watch my mulificent floppy ears on radar scan is a fine pleasure for my rider.  I even painted the tips of them with the finest make up to make them look even finer!

There is a saying that rings true, "to ride a good mule is to never go back to riding a horse" which is good as I'm not intending on going anywhere and we've got years of riding to do!  Speaking of which FH.... would you hurry up and get my saddle out, it's time for a ride!

p.s. the big 'stick' in the picture functions for opening gate latches not for mule beating!!