Training Donkeys, Mules and Horses with Love and Empathy

The Muleteers have kindly leant me their blog to talk to you all about some issues that I have been struggling with.... for once I may just climb on my soapbox or high horse (read high mule ;-)!


I was sent a video by a  friend recently showing some "amazing therapy for phobias" and was pretty shocked by what I saw... was this for real?  So let me tell you about it....

The patient had a longstanding phobia of having his feet touched and tickled so was approached by an eminent psychologist who said that he could help the patient quickly if he followed his 'programme' of behavioural training.  The patient was a trusting chap so said yes, the Dr was a professional after all.  He went along to the Dr's office and was quickly put in to a very small room, a bit like a cell with bars everywhere.  The Dr said it was essential for the patient's safety that he was tied up, OK he thought and was a little shocked when the Dr got a thick rope tied it around his neck and head and then tied the other end to the metal bar.  The patient pulled but he couldn't get free..... this was not the kind of therapy he had imagined but he was a trusting chap so went along with it.

So the Dr then started talking loudly and appeared nervous about what was going to happen, he was already out of breath - Oh My Goodness!  What is about to happen?!

So the Dr quickly leapt in and picked up the patient's foot, so quickly the patient lost his balance.  The patient tried in vane to get his foot back!  But the Dr held on grunting and panting and then gave the foot back - yikes!  That is not happening again thought the patient!  Then the Dr slapped him a lot and pushed him around some to make sure he was thoroughly petrified.  Therapy? WHAT?

Not content with this the Dr then ran around the back of the patient and grabbed hold of his foot from behind, any wonder that the patient kicked as he wasn't expecting it and he couldn't see!  No warning, it tickles and I don't like that!!  So what did the patient get next?  A rope!  Yes that's right he had a rope flicked around his feet and then one of his legs was tied up so he could barely stand properly....  in his desperation not to fall over the patient leant on his head and neck and nearly strangled himself because he was tied up.  All the while the Dr was talking about submission and success and how he was teaching the patient to have someone touch his feet and overcome his phobia.  Really?!

By this stage the patient was frozen with fear and had just about forgotten everything but survival, he didn't want to strangle himself to death, he thought the Dr was a very dangerous person and had given up hope of ever getting out of that cell until he'd given in and the Dr thought he had trained him out of his phobia.  So he did what he was told and the Dr picked up his feet and tickled them (hard to be ticklish when you're petrified) and huffed and puffed about having taught him.  Clever man.....?

This had all taken 7minutes..... the longest 7 minutes of the patient's life.  When the Dr said he was on the way to being cured and should come back for more therapy next week the patient smiled and said "sure".  He got out of that cell as quick as could be and ran away quick smart.  The Dr was totally mad and nasty and if he ever came near the patient again he would know what was coming and fight back before he ever got the head restraint on.... surely Dr's aren't allowed to do these types of therapy anymore?  Sounds more like torture?

The video was shocking and I felt pretty sad, it has played on my mind for the last two weeks, surely there are laws against this kind of thing?  You know what was even worse?  The 'patient' was a beautiful old donkey and the 'Dr' was someone who is supposedly an expert and really should have known better, what's worse is that this is being shared with others as the way to solve all your hoof trimming issues.....

It's rare that I speak out about these sorts of things, I see bad things all the time in my line of work with donkeys and mules and know that it is not a 'perfect' world, I know even I have been guilty in the past of uneducated techniques - I have learnt and am still learning the better and more compassionate way of  communicating with the other wonderful species we share this world with.  I have been lucky to be enlightened by so many caring people willing to teach others the better way of doing things, the loving and empathetic way, not the way us humans think works quickest!

I am not going to 'name and shame' the video or the organisation from which it came because sadly there are many like it and this is just an example.  What I hope to do is give you some food for thought about judging what you see yourselves and questioning some of these 'experts'.

When I watch or listen to others talking about training equines I want to hear two messages in all they say, they must work with empathy and love.  There is no place in my world for machoism, quick fixes, gadgets or fear.  Some basic elements of donkey, mule and horse training that should be present in all situations for me are:

Love Not Anger

Always approach everything with love in your heart not anger, find something to love about the animal you are working with, some will be more challenging than others but they are never bad, naughty, nasty, evil, trouble, mean or any other such word you may use to describe them.  Animals react in response to their previous experiences, their environment, pain and what you are doing to them.  Animals do not set out to troublesome or 'naughty'.  If you go in to a situation thinking the animal is naughty that's probably what you'll get, you've already used an inappropriate label so you've set the relationship up the wrong way!

It is my real belief that mules, donkeys and horses know when you love them and when you don't.  Love does not mean sloppy kisses, treats and no boundaries, it means a lifelong commitment to learning about each other, communicating and treating each other with respect - a bit like a good marriage.

Slow Not Quick

How can anyone learn when they're in a rush?  If someone asked you to learn Vivaldi's Four Seasons on the violin in 1 week (when you can't even play the violin) or else you'd be pretty stressed wouldn't you?  Imagine that your teacher can't even speak you language.... even more stressful!  And yet we face our equines with these problems all the time.  Take things slow, learn the right language, break things down in to small steps - learning to play a fine instrument takes years of patience and practice and should not be rushed.  Small steps should be rewarded and sometimes you need to think of alternative ways of teaching, the best teachers never stick to the same 'teaching by rote' approach, they are creative, encouraging of small achievements and share in the joy of the journey.

Gadgets Have No Place

The equine world is full of gadgets that will help you achieve your goals quicker and supposedly with more 'finesse'.  In particular our horse friends are bombarded with gadgets - market harboroughs, pessoa systems, bits with shanks, cranks and ports, side reins, draw reins, spurs, whips, martingales, flash nosebands and the list goes on..... These items are never in the interests of the animal's welfare, very occasionally they may have a place in the hands of extremely experienced hands (how many of those are there?) but mostly they are used by owners as 'quick fixes' to stop their equine expressing natural behaviour in response to something the owner is doing wrong.  If you have a bit of metal shoved in your mouth that is then roughly yanked by strong hands (to try and make you 'go on the bit' - whatever that is) your natural reaction is to open your mouth and try to get rid of the pressure.... so what does your human do?  They tie your mouth shut  with a tight noseband so that you can't move it.... kind huh?  If you are tempted to use a gadget think very carefully about why you are doing it and put yourself in your horse's hooves, would you like a similar thing used on yourself? Also are your hands educated enough to be using such an instrument?  If you're not sure do not use it.

Never Fear

When you are trying to work out an issue with your equine always try to think about whether what you're doing is going to evoke understanding or fear.  Is your animal simply going to cooperate because it is fearful of the consequences if it doesn't?  This is no basis for a happy, harmonious relationship; trust me there will come a time where the fear will be so great that the fear is expressed as aggression and you may just come off worse.  In the cases of donkeys and mules it is often difficult to determine when they are fearful as they hide fear well, they will often freeze or just 'switch off' when they learn that fighting back does them no good.  It is your job to never push things this far, again put yourself in their hooves and see if you would be fearful and you'll probably find the right answer.

Listen to Your Heart

Whenever you are taking on board the advice of others please listen to your heart and have confidence to say no.  If you have a small inkling that something is not right then it probably isn't.  There are some wonderful trainers out there who work with empathy and love, there are others who should be ashamed of themselves.  Often there are words that can give you a tell - stubborn, submission, dominance, giving in, chase, fear, stupid, naughty, must, will, all negative words that will tell you all you need to know.

So if you're still here at the bottom of my rant, thanks for listening!  I hope that I haven't offended anyone and may cause just one person to question what they see a little more.  Sometimes I am beaten down by the number of 'bad' things I see in the animal world, but I do think occasionally you should speak out because saying nothing only condones.  I am by no means perfect and am still learning with every day, we are truly privileged to be allowed to gain the trust of our animal friends, may we never break that fragile trust which they place in us.  And when we do wrong may we learn from our mistakes and move on with a more educated approach.

Life's Lessons from a Mini Mule

What's the secret to life? Love, bananas, friends, excitement, trust or adventure?  Sometimes you humans need a little gentle nudging so here is Dr Mini's lessons in life, hopefully some of these will ring a bell with you my muleteer friends :-)

No matter what others say you are always the biggest and best in the world!

In case you hadn't noticed I am a giant in the world, the biggest, the best and most definitely No. 1 (just ask FH!).  Let me tell you muleteers if you don't believe in yourself then why should anyone else?  I may be on the small side but I can promise you I have a heart the size of an elephant and will take on challenges much bigger than my diminutive size would suggest.  When you walk in the room make sure you are silently confident that you are the biggest, best and worth every moment of someone's time.





Trust a few but trust a lot

This has been a big problem for me muleteers, I have been let down in the past but wow it can be great when you learn to trust.  Be careful in your choices but let those trustworthy few in and trust them with anything.  Life is so much nicer when you have someone to scratch your itchy bits, have someone to hold your hoof when the mule doctor comes and to just sit and be with :-)

When you've found your few treat them well and try not to test their trust too much!












Face your fears head on, don't turn your back and run

Us mules do not believe in facing our fears with our backs turned or running the other way.  We will always face our fears head on.  If you can see and control your fears then you have a much better chance of fighting your demons.  This mini mule will never turn his back on something scary, I want it just where I can see it and then I'll think carefully about how to deal with things.  I've seen you humans avoid the very thing that frightens you, how will it ever get any better?  So confront that fear, ears forward, dog defenders at the ready and remember you are the biggest and the best!









Even when you have no chance of success you should still try

I will never be an olympic athlete just as FH will never be an award winning singer, but we'll both give it a go!  She'll sing at the top of her lungs whilst doing the chores and I'll prance beautifully up the lane. If you don't try you'll never know?  Regrets are so much worse than failure, at least you should try muleteers. FH recently had a go at something that she knew was never gonna happen but hey she enjoyed trying and can now 'put it to bed', it's worth a try, trust me on this :-)

My application for 'King of the Universe' was turned down but hey it was worth a try, maybe next time?!

Choose your friends carefully and look after those you choose

When it comes to friends muleteers what's important is quality rather than quantity.  Have those friends that just being with is enough, you know the ones that you just 'get' and who you enjoy being with, simple! When you find those friends make sure you look after them, you never know when you might need them.

Some friends with come and go and some will always be there; they are all important and have different places in your life, I've had many friends who have been with me for a little while only but I treated them well while our lives were on the same path.  Take time to make new friends too muleteers, new friends add a new dimension to your life!

Sometimes those that are different add the most to your life

On the subject of friends, always appreciate different.  Once upon a time I detested all felines but I was really wrong.  Now I have Catanian.  We can all learn from those that are different to us, they can sometimes be the bestest of friends, what is it they say opposites attract?  FHs best friend lives in the big city, has no interest in long ears or mud but this makes no difference or all the difference depending on which way you look at it!

Whatever you are faced with - always maintain your sense of humour

In the words of a very wise human - always look on the bright side of life!  Life is far too short and precious to take too seriously.  Making others laugh or laughing yourself is one of the best pleasures in life!  Us mules definitely believe in the power of laughter, when FH needs it we'll cover her in mud, leap on her shoulder (if you're Catanian), sit on her lap, snort on her cleanest trousers or buck and cavort until she cracks a grin! Problem, generally solved ;-)

Have patience with those that are learning

We all have to start somewhere surely?  Have you ever driven really close behind a learner driver, swished your tail angrily at the cashier in the shop because they don't know how to work the card machine or stomped your feet because the pedicurist is a little bit on the slow side?

Having been the learner surely we should all be able to behave as the 'learned' and give these new starters a little bit of a helping hoof?  Remember that first pedicure, that first drive, the first ride on the road, the first time you had to strike out in the big world, wasn't it good if people were nice to you?  Patience, it's one of the best traits you can have!

Life doesn't have to be 'perfect' to be perfect


You humans are obsessed with perfection!  Everything must be just so, the floor must be swept, the lawn must be manicured, your hair must be perfect (hmmm FH hasn't heard of this!), your job must be perfect, your home must be perfect.... you get the idea muleteers?  What ever happened to good enough?  Although you should always strive for more there is no shame in good enough sometimes.  Although I myself am perfect my mule home is a little lopsided, my paddock could be bigger and by January will be mostly mud, my rug is a little brown and has a few holes in it, my legs are a little on the short side and I have a less than perfect hairdo but then perfection is what you make it.  Perfection is a simple hug, the sunshine peeking through the clouds, making a little difference every day and being true to who you are.




Never pass up the opportunity to take a stroll with a friend

Never pass up on opportunities Muleteers, one day it will be the last walk, the last kiss, the last hug or the last neighbray, make every one count and don't 'sit life out'.

Take time out to be alone and reflect on life 

I love to be in the thick of it, checking out what everyone's up to but I also know a little secret.  Sometimes it's just great to be on your own.

Eat well and play with your food at every opportunity!

Food is the BEST!  Forget whatever your parents told you!  Eat, play and enjoy!  Food was given to us all to be happy, if you're like me you can never get enough but guess it's best not to be too greedy.... although I would really like some more!

Live for today

Yesterday, tomorrow, the future, the past, next week, someday, never, whenever..... gosh I'm not surprised you humans are so busy, you're always thinking about what's been and gone and what may or may not arrive.  Us non-human animals have a definite advantage to you lot, we don't do dwelling, regretting, worrying about yesterday or planning for tomorrow and the day after, we just get on with what the day brings and it feels good.  Today it was wet, it felt good on my coat so I bucked and kicked and squealed - what a great day!

Trust your instincts

Mules are great judges of character (even if we do say so!).  We have a sixth sense, we can read people like a book because we have a sixth sense that you humans seem to have lost.  It's still there though, if it doesn't feel right don't do it and if that person doesn't feel right they probably aren't.  Trust your gut instinct and stop making excuses!

Be happy in your own skin

This is the most important one Muleteers, until you have this lesson learned life will be difficult.  This needs no explanation, I hope you get there - Dr Mini xx

Trust Without Boundaries

Trust?  What does it mean?  How do you gain it?  What happens when it’s broken?

FH and Dragon have building up their trust in each other.  I have been watching and it has been reminding me about the long process that FH and I had to go through.  Dragon is gaining FHs trust so quickly, much quicker than I did but then I think I started out with a few more muley issuesL

I’ve often heard you humans say that respect is not given it is earnt and trust is the same.  Both go hoof in hoof.  So let me tell you a little bit about how FH and I overcame our issues.

When I first arrived at Muleteer HQ I was very worried, I had been born at a children’s visitor attraction.  I didn’t really understand what everyone wanted me to do, my ears were pulled, I was made to stand in front of cameras and I just didn’t understand what headcollars, instructions and good behavior all meant.  The only way I could think of to tell people that I wasn’t happy was to be the naughty kid in the class.  Whenever the humans at my old home tried to catch me they wanted to do something bad, stick a needle in my neck, stick a tube down my throat, flash a camera in my face or the worst - trim my toenails!  So I got naughtier and naughtier, I ran away, I boxed with my feet, I kicked, I bit and each time my punishment got worse….  And there was something that I noticed too, all of the humans were scared too.  The more scared I got and tried to tell them that I didn’t understand the more they shouted and pushed and restrained and called me bad.  I was only trying to tell them…

The day FH came for interview, I tried so hard to look mean!

They did the right thing though Muleteers, they started to look for a new home for me, one that might understand me, eventually after many failed 'interviews' of potential humans along came FH.  I think that this was fate (as does FH!).  She wanted a mini pal and I needed a mule friendly home, FH has a soft spot for long ears.  When she came to see me there was a discussion about her picking up my feet, my handler was very scared, I could smell her fear, she was expecting me to be bad. 

But FH made her drop the rope and walk away and she asked quietly and in a way I could understand and I picked up my foot for her as a polite mule should.  That was it, I was invited to go HOME with her.....little did I know!

FH and I took many months to learn to trust each other, there are lots of boring things in life that have to be done!  Like having my toenails trimmed, being groomed, being given yucky drugs, meeting the mule doctor, meeting other strangers, having rugs put on and all those other things us muleteers do to keep our humans happy - sigh!  FH taught me to do all of these things in small steps and by giving me encouragement at every step.  We did it this way:

Small Steps

My rug is now my favourite thing!

FH never does the ‘whole thing’ at once; she always does everything in small chunks so that I can understand what she means.  When she taught me to wear a rug she started with a towel hung in the stable, then over many days the towel gradually got closer to me until it laid on my back without biting me.  Then the towel changed to be my fly rug and again it took time but the rug started to scratch and groom me and somehow it was on me and I was wearing it!  It was fine once I knew it wouldn’t hurt me but it took a while!

Positive Reinforcement

I'll do anything for a banana peel

FH understands that to tell a mule to do something ‘because they should’ is not a good idea.  I may do it for a while but unless I can see a point to doing it I am likely to have my own ideas the next time you ask me.  However…. If you show me something is to my advantage I will happily follow.  FH realized that I REALLY do not like having my toe nails trimmed so for many months we played with the nail files and I had my teatime treat off the surface of one, then I progressed to having one placed on my foot while I ate a tasty carrot, then I got a carrot whilst FH filed my nails and finally progressed to having carrots whilst Hoof Man filed my nails and FH fed me carroty treats - yum.  Much nicer than ‘making’ me do this and then telling me off when I don’t understand what’s in it for me? Now Hoof Man = Nice Things!

Unconditional Love

FH and I have a ‘thing’.  Whatever happens we are don't hold a grudge.  From the moment I arrived I could never offend FH, I tried and tried to make her see that I was a monster with long ears but this just made her love me all the more.  The secret to our relationship is that FH has never wanted anything from me but companionship.  I cannot carry her to glory  but we have always been happy to just hang out.  Time with no expectations made me realize that humans can just want to be with you to share the breeze, to look at the view or to have a good snuffle!  After a while I stopped being suspicious of what people wanted and started to understand that sometimes they want 'nothing'

No Boundaries



Roller can leave when he wants to.

I noticed something strange when I came to Muleteer HQ.  There are no mini head height tie rings.  When I was being a 'naughty' mule I was constantly tied to things.  Can you imagine how you'd feel if you were tied to the dentist's chair?  We would all want to run away but how much more would you want to run if you were tied in?  It would make you so scared.... So FH never ever ties me up to do anything.  If she can't explain to me what's needed and let me decide to partake without running away she won't do it.  FH says a happy mule should let you pick it's feet out, file it's nails, groom it's tickly bits and put it's rug on without headcollars and ties.  This is the true test of partnership.  Until we get there without restraint FH doesn't think that we're finished.  She has been working with Dragon to clean and preen her cut leg without ever having to tie her up. Sometimes if you tie us mules up we feel trapped and can't concentrate so please.... don't fence me in!

Manners

Mules like humans with manners.  If I walked in to your house, grabbed you by your foot, made you stand on one leg, slapped you on the bottom and then attempted to spray you with the worst perfume in the world would you be my best friend?  No?  Really?

My manners are impeccable, why aren't yours?

Manners are very important muleteers.  I like a little bit of small talk, a scratch on the neck, a how was your day? followed by a little scratch and then a polite word to lift my hoof, then some words of encouragement followed by a gentle scratch on the tail.  If I have to wear perfume for the flies benefit please make sure it doesn't go in my eyes and is not sprayed so it tickles.  Mules expect the same manners from our humans as from each other.  

A Spoon Full of Sugar Makes the Medicine Go Down

FH has learnt a few tricks of the trade to help us muleteers to not mind vets and drugs as much as we used to.  Whenever we have to have tubes of icky stuff or whenever I have to be given the sleepy drugs to make me happy for the mule doctor FH gives us 'practices' for weeks leading up to the nasty experience with tubes of honey or peppermint tea.  Whenever we have a wormer, sedative or drug it is always immediately preceded and followed by a lovely treat of something we like, by the time I've finished licking my lips I've forgotten what the fuss was about, FH does complain that I shouldn't chew the dosing syringe though, but honey tastes so nice!

The Right Friends

Muley mates are essential!

FH is our security guard, only the right people get to come and coo over us muleteers.  As I've told you before I have interviewed and rejected a number of carers, mule doctors and pedicurists until I found the right ones.  FH listens to what I have to say and if they are at all mean to me or my fellow muleteers they are not welcome, and heaven forbid they should use the 'S' word.  The other important thing is that I really like you humans but, well, I am a mule.... I do really like having some pals of my own kind that I can play with and groom (FH gets very upset if Dragon tries to groom with teeth but I don't mind!), FH knows that being with my muleteer pals won't make my time with her any less special, in fact us muleteers teach each other and I have been letting the others know that it really is good to trust :-)

So muleteers trust is something that comes with time, understanding and thought.  From being petrified of everyone and everything I am now a well adjusted mule that will follow my FH wherever we need to go and life is no longer stressful. 

What challenge will come next?

I'm just looking forward to the next challenge.... I wonder if I could persuade FH to trust me in the house, I'd be ever so good! ;-)