Moooo-ve Over Neighbours...

Greetings Moo-leteers!  Callie here, Oh My Mule, the neighbours are causing havoc at the moment!

Imagine my dismay at being awoken by a rowdy bunch of young cattle.  This gang of boys do not have good manners, they are noisy, a little smelly, stare at me very rudely and... well they have the most disgusting toilet habits.

So I thought I'd better go and tell them who's boss in this neighbourhood.  Off I strutted to the top of the field to put these bovine boys in their place, no job is too big for this cowgirl.


I made sure my mulificent ears were looking particularly fine and faced them all down, one mule lady against rather a lot of bovine boys - no problemo!

And would you believe it those naughty boys didn't hang around long... they all sloped off across the field, as if they would be scared of little old me??? ;-)  

'Til next time muleteers, I'm mooo-ving on up!

Roses for Sweet Mulettas!

Rose snacks make a happy muletta!

Greetings Muleteers!  Callie here, Oh My Mule what an appalling day we have had with the most awful rain and wind, we even had thunder and lightning.  I really was not bothered though, I have to put on a brave face to look after the minis, would you believe my two boyfriends use my larger build to hide behind when the rain is lashing down?  I don't mind too much as I am the only one with a wardrobe... I have a beautiful water proof rug whereas the naughty mini ones have only their thick coats to protect them, well I am a dainty lady you know!

To cheer me up after a nasty day in the rain man human (MH) and female human (FH) turned up with some yummy mule food to warm us up from the inside, oh the joy of some nice donkey chaff and some donkey nuts finished off by a lovely piece of apple!

Don't tell anyone (especially FH as I think she is a little jealous) MH also took pity on me and brought me roses!  Well not quite but nearly...  MH is normally tasked with leading me whilst FH takes the two naughty minis, we bring up the rear of the mule train and he and I have come to an understanding, we stop every now and again for a nice snack while the minis go in front, they are a bit slow....  MH has noticed that my favourite thing to eat at the moment is the lovely yummy wild rose bushes that are beginning to grow in the lane next to our mule palace.  So as we walk along MH and I 'smash and grab' picnic.  Today I didn't even have to pick my own, he brought me roses - swoon!!  A girl could get used to this kind of treatment, wonder when FH last got roses?  We'll have to start a competition!

Mule's Gold

Greetings Muleteers!  The Mini here!  Well it was an exhausting weekend, by the time I had snatched the keyboard back from Dragon I was too sleepy to blog....My little ears were droopy and even my bray was on the wobbly side.  We had a parade of prospectors looking for a precious commodity here in the deepest depths of Dartmoor.  The word had got out that right here in My Kingdom lies a precious commodity that the silly humans call Mule's Gold!

When female human told me that the prospectors were on their way I was all a quiver.....

Long Ears used to help prospectors for gold

I have read human's book about mules that describes all about long ears being used by gold prospectors in the USA.  Now I would loooooovvvvve to meet my cousins in the States, human is always telling us that mules in that country are valued and seen commonly riding on the trail and in places like the Grand Canyon - sounds cool!  However, I would not like to spend my days panning for gold, my dainty hooves are not designed for hard labour, maybe Dragon would like prospecting, she's a banana short of a bunch when it comes to work?

It seems that the prospectors were after an entirely different kind of gold, human said they were after Mule's Gold.  I was very puzzled?  Where was this gold and why hadn't I uncovered it?  I make ample attempts at digging up the paddock when I'm finding a place to roll so how had I missed it?  Suddenly the first prospector arrived and I kept a safe distance at the top of the hill so I wouldn't have to get close, I'm not as free with my love as Dragon and Roller Polar, you have to actually earn my trust, I'm NOT bought by carrots and cuddles.  I watched and could not believe my eyes and ears, these fools were looking for gold in the muck heap!!

Searching for Mule's Gold....

But no wait they are starting to put it in bags and put it in their car, whatever is wrong with them?? Don't they know that they are packaging mule poo, yuckkkkk!  So I listened a bit longer and I learnt that mule poo is good for their gardens and that they call it Black Gold because it's a great fertiliser.  Oh My Mule, how gross, they put this stuff on their vegetables when it's rotted and say that it makes them grow big and healthy!  I know that us mules are superior but really?  Mule poo on your veg - no thank you!!!!

We all stay on guard but we're pretending to eat!

So the day went on and no less than seven loads of prospectors had been and gone and I was exhausted just watching.  Female human and Uncle Human spent all day lugging mule poo around and shock horror seemed happy about it.  By the end of the day the significant mountain (a mule's gotta do what a mule's gotta do....) had reduced to a mere mound and human was beside herself with delight, apparently more will be disappearing this week too.

The Mule's Gold Mountain is diminishing rapidly..... Humans are odd.

She came to report that I would be first in line for the lovely veg that would be produced using the mule poo fertiliser. I am brayless, how on earth could she think that I would touch that! Yuck!  However, if bananas just so happen to be grown with Mule's Gold (human says not!) then I might give it a go ;-)

Til next time Muleteers, remember all that glitters is not gold, it may be Mule's Gold!

Dragon Has Learnt to Breathe Fire!

Greetings Muleteers!  Callie here again, I have been silent for a few as the boys keep muscling in on the keyboard, they may be small but their hooves sure do type fast.  It takes me ages to think about what to say to all you lovely folks but today I'm having no problems!  The Mini is hard and fast asleep after a busy day scoffing the grass that is starting to grow and Ro-Land... well Ro-Land is currently staring at the wall, hmmm I'm not sure what happens in that short eared head sometimes?  I asked him and he said he was philosophising, I'm not even sure what that means?  So I've sneaked the keyboard from under their noses and I'm going to tell you about some of the exciting happenings here at the moment...

Now for those of you that don't know The Mini likes to call me his love Dragon, I'm sure this is a term of endearment, apparently I remind him of Dragon from Shrek, check out this beautiful lady.... I especially like the pink eye shadow, I wonder if human will buy me some? I quite like the shades that No. 7 have in their neon lights collection at the moment, some matching toe paint would be great too!

Dragon is beautiful!

So imagine my delight when I got to play at being a real life dragon! Yippppppeeeee!

Man human starting to pile up loads of old rubbish which looked quite exciting, he looked pretty scary in an orange jumpsuit though, did no one tell him orange is so last year?  Pink is the colour this year!  So the pile got big and then he starting pouring stinky stuff all over and then lit a hissy thing, well Oh My Mule you will not believe what happened next!  A real life dragon den came to life in front of me.  

Orange is soooo last year!

I couldn't get close enough to this rare delight, I had to stand on the other side of the fence:-(  Now apparently us dragons like fire and smoke so I thought this was the time to really impress my number one sugar pumpkin The Mini so I pretended it was all my doing!  I stood as close as I could and pretended to breathe fire, at one stage it was a little bit warm on my eyebrows but I took it all in my dragon stride or should that be flap?  The Mini and Ro-Land were unimpressed with my ability to make fire and didn't break off from eating, they really are piggies those two minis.

I breathed fire!  The Mini just carries on eating what does a girl have to do to win his heart?

The humans looked at me in astonishment, I know how beautiful I am so why were they staring?  Then female human said that this is how to bombproof your mule.  Well really I AM A MULE, we are not scared of silly things like dragon fire!  

I am definitely a fan of breathing dragon fire, even if The Mini wasn't impressed my new human was very pleased with me!  I have worked out if I keep a cool head (re-name mule head) in these situations I get a carrot and a scratch on the base of my mulificent ears, this is a secret mule pleasure which I luuuuurvvvve.  Tomorrow I will be brave with something new, I've seen a loud tractor around, that will impress them.   I may only be four but my training of these humans is going well, I'll have them hoofed in to shape in no time ;-) 

Well muleteers it's time for me to go to bed, I've had a very busy day and my ears are drooping rapidly. Time for a quick snack and then a stretch out on my bouncy mattress!  Sweet mule dreams all until next time - Callie xx

Sunny Days and Solo Rides

Hey there muleteers it's Callie again!  My boys are complaining that I keep hogging the limelight but what can a girl do?  I am the centre of the universe so I'm sure you all want to know about my escapades :-)

Today feels like the first day of Spring.  It was a chilly night last night and I was pleased that my human gave me a little extra handful of haylage (she's mean with the haylage and always dilutes it with straw - not fair).  This morning she was up super early and said the words I long to hear, we were going out for a walk!  So she got me all dressed up in my finest cowmule gear, I look super duper in my fine saddle and my bridle which shows of my best features (my ears of course!), I'm not keen on standing still while human fiddles with the straps but I have learnt that the quicker she gets on with it the quicker we go out.

So I yelled see you later to the boys, The Mini was being silly and making the most awful racket, Ro-Land had already disappeared to eat, he could at least pretend he cares!  Off we went, at first human was content to walk alongside with me but then she decided she wanted me to carry her,  I think secretly she was getting puffed!  Anyway on she hopped, it's much easier when I carry her anyway, we can go soooo much faster.  So on we went, I had a couple of scary moments when the sunshine played games with the shadows and Oh My Mule I could have sworn I saw a pixie!  I had to stand and look for ages to make sure the pixie had gone, in the end human decided she was feeling brave and clambered off to lead, this way she is the first to get eaten or have a spell put on her or whatever those Dartmoor Pixies do?!

On we went, it's all up hill which is pretty hard work for my little legs so we had a little snack and a slurp from a cool stream.  Then human decided that it was time to get back on board, she's pretty springy for a human and we were off in no time.  We had reached the rocky track, I reckon she couldn't keep her balance so let me sort it out, clever girl!

Mules are the original off road vehicle!

Us mules are so good at putting our feet in the right place, the only problem comes when you humans try to tell us where to go.  So we carried on to a gate which even I couldn't jump!  Anyway off the human got again and wrestled with the gate, I watched very closely as I think this could be a good skill to master, I could open all the gates that keep us penned in at the moment! We could all go for a little wander, hmm sounds like a plan, best not tell the human though think she'd worry!

Then we reached the open expanse that my human calls a 'keep', apparently many mule years ago the farmers around here using to drive their livestock in to this massive field which has loads of grass and huge stone walls.

The Keep, lots of lovely bouncy grass, we went to investigate these trees!

My human and I come here often to play some games and go for a wander with our friends, she doesn't ride me up here though as she seemed to think I'll be silly, how offensive! So off we pottered over to some granite boulders, this is good fun, human and I play climb the stones and see who can look biggest, yes muleteers I think you know the answer - it's me!  I climbed on to a particularly big rock today and could see for miles around, I looked beautiful, the Queen of the Castle!  Then something unexpected happened......  Human decided I was trustworthy enough to get back on, on she got and we were off!  We went and checked out all the corners of this massive place and pottered around for ages.  Human and I are still working out our language but we're getting there, I am very good at listening and of course I understand, I AM A MULE! She is learning mulemanship rapidly and after a while of sign language and gentle hints on my part it was great.  It was like my human and I were reading each others mind.  Is this what is called being in tune with your human? I love it!

Normally we just walk, today was extra special!

Sadly all good things must end and we had to go home, secretly I was a little bit tired anyway, off human got and we had a potter back slowly home.  We met lots of nice people on the way back with their not so welcome dogs!  Us mules do not think that sniffing bottoms is any polite way to introduce yourself so I had to let one of them know this.  A swift swipe with my dog defenders did the trick, that'll teach em!  I didn't actually get the silly mutt but it was a warning, us mules have the perfect aim, if we mean to get that dog we will!  Human chuckled, she had told the owner that dogs were not cool but they hadn't listened, I think she can read my mind!

At last we reached home, I got a lovely big juicy carrot as my reward for carrying the human, I better not tell her that I enjoyed it too, the carrots might stop otherwise!

Mullivers Travels!

Well there I was the gorgeousness that is Callie and I was wondering what a mini was?  A fire breathing mule killer I think?  The stable door bulged a little more and my humans said it was 'time to release' the beasts, oh my mule, what will it be?  I'm ready and waiting with my dog defenders and my ears all pricked to make sure I look as big as possible and then...... they appeared!!

Imagine my mulish surprise when out of nowhere came not one but two creatures straight from the cast of Mullivers Travels!  It was like entering a Hobbit Village!  More to my surprise was that one of these strange little creatures had mulificent ears just like mine!!  The humans chuckled and said "I think they know they're mules"!  Well of course I know I'm a mule but I've never met another one.... all the other four legged friends I've met have had short ears, now this is a turn up for the books!

Once introduced to The Mini (who says he's the boss, we'll see!) and Ro-Land I settled down for a good snooze to dream about all the fun I might have with my new gang, I think we should call ourselves THE THREE MULETEERS :-)

The Three Muleteers are pleased to introduce..... Callie!

Welcome readers!  I'm the latest addition to the Three Muleteers!  My name is Callie and I'm a 4 year old molly mule, I'm 14 hands high and my human says this means I have to carry the load for the other two...hmmmm I think this means I have to carry her, whatever!  She also says that I am a bit of a juvenile delinquent, not sure what that means but probably that I'm the youngest, prettiest and most agile of the three :-)  

I joined the Three Muleteer gang recently when I had to say goodbye to the lovely human who had done something called training with me.  I think I did training with her but that is a mulish secret that I don't share with the two legged ones, if only they knew that we were the ones training them!  Anyway my training human said that I would have to find a new home, she searched far and wide and eventually my new human popped up and came to see me.  That's where our story begins!


So I picked a day when I was feeling at my most supreme for my viewing, my training human whispered in my long (beautiful) ears that I had to be good.  Well I was very good (even if I do say so myself) but did have to check this pair of two legs that had come to see me out.  So I showed them my best features... I fidgeted around while my training human picked my feet up, it's hard to stand on three legs when you're a mule you know and I had to make sure that the new humans were up to the job of holding me up if I couldn't manage.  I also expressed my excitement at having my clothes put on, I know that this means something exciting is about to happen so I do wriggle a lot and then it was down to what humans call WORK!! I love to work (whatever that is, sounds fun right?) so carried my new human to be up the road and back in a jolly striding fashion without a flicker of an eye at the passing traffic or monsters in the hedge, work is not something to take lightly you know, you should only waste energy on spooking when it means you get to work for longer, I had a feeling this new human on my back had the measure of me though and that wasn't going to happen :-(  So after my favourite thing we went back home and human to be was talking to training human about where she lived, she said that she was owned by something called a mini mule, well really, a mule in mini how ridiculous! I could give that the run around...


Well the sad day arrived that I had to step out in to the big wide world without my training human,  I threw a massive farewell party for my short eared companions by jumping the fencing around my paddock and squealing with delight :-) They were all thoroughly impressed I could tell!! Training human and human to be both looked a little shocked but then started to laugh, I know how to diffuse a stressful situation :-)  Standing outside my stable was the shiny mule mobile that had come to take me to my new mule palace (hope the wall paper's pink!).  My training human whispered in my ear that I didn't need to worry, everything would be fine as I was going to live somewhere where I would be understood and loved for my mulish ways, well of course I was, everybody loves me!!  After a sad goodbye with my training human my ears were very deflated and I felt sad but it was time to go.  


After what seemed like an age we arrived at my new mule palace...hmmm not sure about palace but it'll do, will have to get the pink paint out!  So off I go in to my new abode but it's dark outside and I can't really see what is going on, I know there's someone there but I can't see them!!  My new humans are smiling at me and are talking about letting 'the minis' out to meet me...what minis? I can't see them?  There is another stable door next to mine and it seems to be bulging with the effort of containing a monster that is trying to barge through, oh my mule what if it's a mule eating dog, I shall have to get my dog defenders ready to aim!  So the door opens and there was a shock! I had ended up in an alternative universe... it was like being in the tale of Gullivers Travels!