Under The Cone

Greetings Puppeteers!  Something very strange has happened, I have found myself 'Under the Cone' and am picking up some very odd transmissions.....

There I was minding my own business speeding around in my puptastic way when oops I collided with something.  A mere graze I thought but then it started to hurt a lot and my humans got all worried and looked in dismay at the big hole over my front fetlock - oops!

Off to see the nice doggy doctor who's soft on me, lots of wagging and licking but ouch that hurts!  Well that was it she gave me some puppy gas and I went in to alternate universe, when I woke up I was picking up the most peculiar signals... I think it has something to do with my cone?  I also had a nicely stitched up leg with no gaping hole - convenient!

Ground Control to Major Cone....

Ground Control to Major Cone.....

Take your doggy treats and put your helmet on!

Can you hear me Major Cone?

Errrm oh sorry Cloth Dog I got some strange interference there.... something was trying to communicate with me.....

Oh yes, you're right if I look pathetic and suck in my cheeks I can appeal to the humans to ensure I get lots of sympathy and we get biscuits!

I don't know what that mule's looking at, maybe she wants a Cone to pick up mule transmissions too? Jealousy will get you nowhere Dragon!

And no I don't look silly!

I'm off to go and see what transmissions I pick up with my cone, maybe Major Cone will let me know where the doggy treats are hidden?  

Apparently I will be under the cone for another week until my stitches come out, oh well not to worry I'm quite enjoying all the attention and extra cuddles and biccies - yum!  

Thank you for all of my get well wishes - the humans have passed on every one along with scratches and biscuits, woofs and wags! xxx

Milo's First Swim!

Hey Cloth Dog, look at me I'm in the water!  It's such a lovely, warm Spring day this is a great way to cool down.  My legs are a little bit cold though…

What do you mean that this isn't swimming?  And I need to get all my body under…. hmmm, I'm not really sure but guess when my Big Brother tells me something's ok I should give it a go right?

Yikes! Oh My DOG!  You did not tell me it would be this cold and Clother where's the ground?  Quick get me out of here, I'm a thin skinned, stilt legged lurcher not a padded, waterproof labrador!  Whatever were you thinking?!

Must try to climb out as quickly as possible!

Oh VERY cold, not liking it. Quick, run away!

No Clother, no, not more water. No need to be generous with it, I've had enough water!

Gee whizz, you're like a big sponge Cloth Dog! It's a wonder you don't sink!

I'm cold and wet and need to go home now, I need to tell someone of my trauma that will understand how awful things were….. poor me!

Oh yes a little snuggle in the sunshine will do the trick.  

I tell you what Human Foal or Space Invader or whatever your name is… that swimming thing is not to be recommended.  You stick with me and I'll keep you dry…. although I can't guarantee to not lick your face ;-)

Battle of The Beards

Hmmm there's been some beardy bragging going on in the Muleteer gang... I turn my back and they're all at it.... my beard's better than your beard..... mine has a better colour, no mine is more bushy!

Well anyone would think that a beard is this season's 'must have look'.... come to think of it they do keep your face warm, even MH sports one some of the time!

So first up on the designer beard front is Roller's fluffed out Polar Bear effort - marks out of 10?

We give 7/10 for substance, 6/10 for cleanliness (needs a brush Roller) and 8/10 for style - dig that graded colour Roller :-)

And next up is the bearded lady..... well it's Dragon and it's ok Dragon because girl mules can sport beards too at this time of year.

Hmmm yours is a little sparse so 5/10 for substance, 6/10 for cleanliness - let down by your general bog monster appearance and 7/10 for style, improved always by your beautiful eyes (will that make you forget the bog monster comments..... quick run! ;-)

And the final contender chipped in from the other side of the fence that he wanted to be included..... hmmm guess we could let him, we think this competition may be fixed?! This puppy does spend a lot of time parading his beard.....

Substance we give you a 9/10 - not bad for a canine creature, it is rather luxurious isn't it? Hmm cleanliness might have to be a 6/10 as we're sure we can see some staining in there, is that due to your messy eating habits, goodness knows what you're saving for later in there?  And finally style.... yeah, yeah ok you win we'll give you a 9/10 for style.... we admit your beard is quite handsome!

So there we have it the beardy competition is decided, Milo the bearded wonder wins.... honestly you'd think that us Muleteers have nothing better to do than stand around comparing beards, chatting with the neigh-bours and enjoying what sun there is, well come to think of it sounds like a perfect day!

Happy week friends xxx

The Phantom Bed Disemboweler

Don’t look now but errmmm well my bed has met a terrible accident.....

The Phantom Bed Disemboweler Strikes!

Some naughty pixie must have crept in the house while I was asleep and disembowelled my beloved bed!

Look at my bed, it is all sad and hurt..... the Cloth Dog told me to be a good pups and not get up to mischief, I don’t know what he means?

Hey humans, come quick!  I need help!  My bed has met a terrible fate and now I am not comfy L  Look my head can’t rest on this cushion very well...

What’s that you say?  You think I did this?  Well, I take exception at that!  Look at my best innocent look.....

See butter would not melt in this handsome mouth. 

What was that about sleeping on the cold, hard ground, hah yeah right, we all know you humans are soft..... in fact how about letting me sleep in your bed instead?  Just imagine what fun I could have disembowelling that!  Errm I mean the pixies.... oh dear caught out again.  Laters puppyteers!

Time to Start Shaving....

Greetings Wooferteers!  FH has started to make noises about my beard... she says it’s nearly time for me to start shaving like a big boy (I think she’s joking?).  I does keep reminded her I is a pups and that I am growing my beard in order to store food in for the lean minutes that she don’t feed me..... honestly I only get four meals a day and snacks, you humans is mean on the foody front.   No wonder I has to take matters in to my own paws some days!  I have developed a taste for milk cartons, snails, wood, sheep poop, pony poop, grass (if it’s good enough for the biggest dogs in the family I thought it’d be ok for me, it’s pretty tricky to eat though?) and well, ermmm anything really, the more FH tells me not to eat something the more I think she’s trying to hide it’s hidden nutritional delights! Always worth the taste test.

So there we have it, I have been growing my beard to keep me warm, store food and look distinguished (that's what MH says so it must be true?).  I have even developed some impressive ‘cheek mice’ as MH likes to call them, I reckon he is proper jealous, FH has banned him from having any, I feel well special!

I have decided though that I might stop there with my hairiness, I have discovered that to run fast I need to stay smooth in all other dimensions so I am willing my beardy fur to stay on my face and legs only... I know I look a little errrm different with my patchy coat but hey if it works? 

I have learnt what my legs are for now.... zooooommmm, blink and you will indeed miss me.  I can outpace my cloth dog easy (although his brakes are better than mine so he still gets the ball most times) and I terrify FH whenever possible with my speedy ‘beep beep’ fly pasts when she is deep in thought on our walks (hopefully she is thinking about MY next meal).

Super speedy lurcher pups!

Got it this time, haha, you won't catch me Cloth Dog!

One last important thing to report my friends.  I have been working on the posing.  My Cloth Dog is the expert at this.  He does the ‘hang dog look’ good, the ‘aren’t I handsome look’, the ‘oh my god I’m starved’ look and finally the ‘someone tell the puppy to leave me alone’ look (he doesn’t mean it, I’m sure of this).

Handsome!

Handsomer?  I'll keep trying!

Do you think I got my, ‘aren’t I handsome with this beard’ look down?  Shame I got some food on my nose.... oh well, waste not want not....

Beep, beep, zoooooom...... catch ya later fans.... or maybe not unless you can run as quick as me :-)

 

 

 

Tea for Two

Tea... a most British Dog Obsession....

Hey Cloth Dog!

What's that you're slurping?  It looks like you've managed to nose your way in to FH's tea mug?

Oops.... I hope she'd finished her morning cuppa before you slobbered in it?

Looks like tea for two to me!

What's that you say?  A secret delight?  A very British pastime?  Sounds puptastic!




Come on Cloth Dog let me in..... I really need to taste the delights of this tea thingy....  this mug ain't big enough for both our noses though surely??

Oh, ok we'll try to share nicely.  FH could you put your tea in the dog bowl for us next time please?  What's that about it being your tea?  Don't you know what's mine is mine, what's yours is mine and what's everyone else's is..... well mine..... and I want it!

OK I'm getting the hang of this now Cloth Dog, there is just one slight problem though....  I seem to be wearing quite a lot of tea?  It's pretty challenging to keep my adolescent face fluff clean.... FH says I need to pay more attention to grooming, I kinda like the scruffy dog look!

Here's to a good week full of tea (for me) and smiles (for you) and ever growing face fluff (for me!).  FH says I'm not allowed to sample the delights of coffee yet..... what, no caffeine fuelled lurcher puppy required?  REALLY??  What's the worst that could happen.... ;-) 

Laters friends - Milo xxx

A Dog's Life...

One day I want to grow as big as you.....

Greetings Wooferteers!  I am starting to realise that the life of a dog is well, errm, busy....  I have had another puptastic week making loads of new friends and having lots of 'first time' experiences.

Before work was out for Easter I had a work meeting with some of my senior work colleagues.  I was taken to the creche for the meeting, odd.... no not a creche for pups but one for donkey puppies, at least I think that's what they're called?

These work colleagues of mine are really very big even as puppies, I think maybe they're Great Danes in disguise?  I have noticed something about them though, they haven't grown in to their ears yet, come to think about it, to do that they will have to grow to be giant pups? Hmmmm....

Another strange thing about them, try as I might they didn't seem impressed by my puppy barks and bows, they just kinda stood there and looked amused.

One of them did seem a bit impressed though, this nice girl, donkey puppy was very enthralled with me.....  we spent a long time snuffling and wagging and butting noses with each other until my human got bored and cold.... I'll be back sweet friend!

Yay work was done for a few days!  Woohoooo!  Puptastic!  Time to show off my new improved moves to the Cloth Dog.  I have been practicing my lurcher run a whole heap and am hoping to outrun him.  First off though I thought I'd test out the lurcher run on Cousin Archie who is a senior puppy to me but still young enough to get up to all kinds of mischief with when the humans aren't looking.  Cloth Dog stayed at home as he finds having to keep us both in check exhausting!

Cousin Archie took me to one of his favourite places..... a place with sand and lots of funny tasting water and loads of doggy pals.... it's called a beach apparently.

What fun!  Cousin Archie and me ran and ran and ran and ran and ran........

Those ears are way outta control Arch!

Oh yeah and then we ran a bit more..... 

Thank goodness for my Aunty who had treats available for tired pups, my energy was getting low.... hah only for a second though.... right let's run again Arch!

I felt that my training with Cousin Arch had left me in tip top condition ready for showing off to The Cloth Dog.  He couldn't fail to be impressed of this I was sure.  A dog's duty is to look his best at all times so here goes....

Look!  All feet off the ground sporting the upward ear look... I've been learning from those long ears :-)

Next I tried on my racing ears.... AKA bat ears, whoosh... blink and you'll miss me!

Finally I showed off an advanced skill known to motorcyclists everywhere, the 'lean' in to the corner.

Cloth Dog watched for a while and then sped off saying 'sorry can't stop I have a ball to catch'....

Haha, two can play at that game, ok so mine is a beginner ball with a rope attached but I still look good with it hey?

Puppy Beginner Ball!

As my attempts at impressing my Cloth Dog were not working I decided to have a go at impressing the most senior member of the Muleteer clan, apparently he's a tough man to impress.... his name is The Mini, hmmm can't be that big and tough then can he with a name like that?!

Whoa.... I was a bit wrong, this mule puppy is quite large for a Mini?  Hmmm I better have a closer inspection.  Nope he doesn't smell like my Cloth Dog, he has enormous ears and teeny tiny feet for his size, they're almost the same size as mine? Most peculiar. He seems friendly though.  FH is busy telling The Mini puppy to be nice to me and not do what he does with strange dogs..... not sure I want to know what that is?  A puppy eater perhaps?

When Mini met Milo

Nah, not a puppy eater but a puppy playmate, quick Mini come with me!  Let's drag the human exploring, I've heard you're good at this? Don't dilly dally, there's grass to eat (both of us), poo to hoover (me), mountains to be climbed (both of us), strangers to greet (me), strangers to be scared of (you) and adventures to be had (all together!).

Lead training for the mini mule and his puppy.....

Doing this kind of thing is sooo tiring and not in the slightest bit exciting....well maybe just a little bit ;-)

Exploring with Uncle Mini, the mule who is nearly dog sized.....

Shhhh don't give away my secret..... some might say it's a dog's life?? I don't know what they mean? ;-)